In the course of researching online for co-parenting-related resources, one idea crops up more than all the others: When it comes to divorce/custody/child support, well-meaning dads (i.e., non-deadbeats) get the shaft, all-too-often. Not only in court, but even in co-parenting/divorce-themed books and amongst legal and mental health professionals–the very resources dads may turn to first. Given this context, I found the following article–written by a mom–to be an interesting departure from the Dad as 2nd Class Citizen ideology. An excerpt:
When I made the decision to divorce my children’s father and move to Portland when our twins were age 2, I thought I was the only parent my sons, Alex and Zavier, would ever need. I was mistaken.
No matter how much love I poured into my children’s hearts, my sons were starving with “father hunger” for the man named Lee, who named them and held them when they were just a few seconds old.
So, about a year ago, I had an epiphany. I decided to let go of what went wrong in the marriage and I shipped my boys off to Detroit, where they were born, to experience puberty through their father’s eyes…
Read the rest: “Mom might be the reason dad’s absent”
I HATE MY EX WIFE SO MUCH BECAUSE SHE HAS MADE MY BOYS LIFE A LIVING HELL. we cannot get to see each other because one, i am blind and i dont drive and she moved 150 miles away from me into another state,…ALABAMA.. and now i have had my brother go and get my boys 43 times as to date,he is now unable to do so. we dont get no support of travel from he because it is apart of the divorce decre that i pay for the travel, this was befor she moved thou. and now i pay child support each and every month have never missed a p[ayment,not will i…. there my sons and i pay fo all the stuff. but i cannot find help with this problem she is killing me and i need to be with them as it is now fathersday again and she will not help me. lastnight my brother called her and asked her if he could come lastnight to get the boys to supprise me with this and she told him she will not allow them to leave till after church tommorow!!! sadle my brother has a life as well and he will be unable to do so. so another fathers day with my boys again.. no christams with them no notheing like this ever. she is in total controll and she is taking advantage to the hill. i hate her for this so bad. and my boys are 16 and the oher is 9 and she dont care about them and there little hearts. all she says i keep paying me and maybe some day she will bring them to me……WHAT A JOKE… i need help with this!! we have been to court twice and she will not do what the judge tells her because she lives in alabama and she dont care what a georgia judge says. the sad thing is the boys want to come and live with me and she will not allow them to come and see me during the week because she says the lawyers offices are open and she will not have none of this…..she is a jerk… i live over 150 miles away and cannot afford to pay my brother more money when he can do this. i am broke now. and she knows this. my my i am married to now has just had a cancer removed from her brain and has went threw some living hell the past year and she loves the boys and she wants to see them and be with them before she may die…. sadly my x sas that if my wife would die then i would have more money to spend on the boys and not on my with now…. THIS IS SO DAMN SAD……i pay her childsupport, and i pay for all the travle and i pay have offored her money to bring them to me but she will not do so…her life is bad in alabama and she has a husbalnd who has never had a job since the early 90s and he is like her just sitting around waiting on herpoor little mother to die, so myX can clean out her house and all of her money. sadly, i pray fo my x mother in lw to out live them all, lol but she is in very poor health, and i really think my x is really gone off the deep end with all of this. SO WOULD SOME ONE WHO CAN HELP ME THAT IS IN A PLAE TO HELP ME WITH SME KIND OF WISDON OF TRUTH AND KNOWLEDGE PLEASE DO SO???
i need all the help i can get from all serious people please …..
Hi, Rocky,
Your family’s situation is heartbreaking. Just because you and your ex live in two different states doesn’t give her the right to ignore court orders. However, short of an attorney to advocate for your parental rights, I’m stumped as to suggestions for you, unfortunately.
Our friends at DadsDivorce.com provide an Ask a Lawyer feature. You can search the archives or pose your question to the attorneys they work with. The feature is here: http://www.dadsdivorce.com/ask-a-lawyer
Best to you and your family,
~Deesha