Are you or your soon-to-be-ex are on Facebook? If so, check out this TIME magazine article on the personal and legal implications for divorcing couples in this age of social-networking.
From the article, “Facebook and Divorce”:
Battles over finances and custody remain the Iwo Jima and Stalingrad of divorce cases. Opposing lawyers will press any advantage they have, and personal information on sites like Facebook, MySpace and LinkedIn is like decoded bulletins from enemy territory. “It’s now just routine for us to go over with clients whether they have an active presence on the Web and if they Twitter or have a MySpace page,” says Joseph Cordell of Cordell & Cordell, a domestic-relations law firm with offices in 10 states. He advises his mostly male clients to scour their page — and their girlfriend’s — for anything that could be used by their ex’s legal team. Then Cordell studies the page of the soon-to-be ex-wife.
“We had a custody case where a mom assured the court that she hadn’t been drinking,” recalls the Missouri-based attorney. “But her MySpace page had actual dated photos of her drinking — and smoking, which is also of interest.” In another case, a mom had listed herself on a dating site as single with no kids, which Cordell’s firm used to cast doubt on her truthfulness…
Half the fun of social-networking sites is the posting of personal news. The other half is the posting of personal opinion, something spurned spouses typically have in spades. MySpace and its ilk offer the giddying cocktail of being able to say something in the privacy of your home that will be publicly accessible, along with a chaser of instant gratification. All this at a time when people are often less than their best selves. On the walls of two Facebook groups — I Hate My Ex-Husband and I Hate My Ex-Wife, which together had been joined by 236 Facebook users as of early June — posts include all manner of (often misspelled) vitriol, including some colorful British slang: “my husband is … a dirty smelly chavvy theivin alcoholic drug addict selfish scum bag” and “my ex wife is a no good lieing slag,” each of which was posted alongside a smiling photograph of the commenter.
There’s little the besmirched can do legally, unless there are children involved. Family-law courts routinely issue restraining orders to prevent one parent from disparaging another to a child. “The question is, If it’s on the Internet, can that speech be blocked?” says Stephen Mindel, a managing partner at Feinberg, Mindel, Brandt & Klein in Los Angeles. “The First Amendment is going to come into conflict with the family-law courts.”
Issuing an order to remove children’s access to Facebook is pointless, says Chicago-based lawyer Jennifer Smetters. “The kids just go on a fishing expedition to find out what’s so secret. And no child needs to see their parent being publicly humiliated.” Smetters has seen cases where messages on a social-networking site were part of a harassment campaign that led to the court’s issuing a civil order of protection. (emphasis ours)
The article also references another feature, “5 Facebook No-Nos for Divorcing Couples”. We paraphrase them here:
1. Don’t you (or your new significant other) show off new purchases. This info may impact your settlement decision.
2. Keep the photos of you and the Chippendale dancers to yourself.
3. …and make sure your friends keep the photos on the down low as well.
4. Ix-nay on the trash-talk about your spouse, his/her lawyer, the judge. Not on your page. Not on anyone else’s page.
5. Planning to “deFriend” your in-laws and your ex’s friends? Not so fast. Give people a chance to adjust, unless your situation is super-volatile, then go ahead.