This first installment in our “Co-Parenting and Dating” series can also be filed under, “When Co-Parenting Goes…Right.” A hat tip to SingleEdition.com for the following story of a co-parent who enjoyed a friendly relationship with her fellow co-parent, post-divorce…and the downside of that.
Single Edition is “for singles who know there’s life beyond just dating.” The site offers “unique and insightful single living content, expert advice, tips and how-tos on topics ranging from home, health and wellness to dating, finance, travel and leisure.” One goal of the site is to change “popular perceptions that single life is exclusively about dating, as that is just one component of living a fulfilled life.”
In “When You, Me, and The Ex Make Three”, the author shares how her congenial post-divorce relationship with her ex-husband negatively affected her dating life:
After nearly ten years of marriage, my ex-husband and I called it quits. Our situation may not be the norm, but there were no harsh words nor nasty litigation involved as we essentially split everything down the middle, including shared custody of the kids.
Now, more than three years later our relationship is as amicable as ever. We try to speak at least once a day and meet up for dinners weekly and for family affairs and social events.
As far as boundaries are concerned, we are as loose as the border that divides the United States and Canada. Friends yes, one homeland, I don’t think so. So you see although our divorce can be a case study in amicable differences, it did not do my love life any good.
At 45 years old, I’ve started dating again. But I don’t expect to be able to find a suitor that will be entirely comfortable with a happily every after times three. Stumped at making peace in this situation, I turned to a dating coach for some guidance. It may sound hokey but I did come to the realization that fear, comfort and complacency had turned our relationship into a friendship of convenience.
Sharing everything from secrets to friends after a marriage ends can be like hanging on to an ex-boyfriend. I’ve discovered that the key to moving beyond this type of co-dependent connection is to be honest with yourself and your former significant other so that together you can establish new rules of engagement. Easier said than done but here are a few guidelines that can be implemented for that healthy divide:
Visit Single Edition to read the rest.
We invite submissions of your co-parenting and dating stories for future installments of this series. Send to: info AT coparenting101.org, or click on “Share Your Story” at the top of this page.
Related:
Co-Parenting and Dating: Boyfriends and “BabyMamas”
Another great post! Thanks to Single Edition for this one. My relationship with my son’s father is also very amicable, almost sibling-like, and one of the issues I’ve struggled with is boundaries. It hasn’t impacted dating, but it does sometimes still breed a space ripe for and/or born from codependency that can look like nothing but a great co-parenting relationship. It is a difficult balance to strike sometimes. Thanks for the tips!