I thought this question posed to me (Deesha) on Twitter made for a good Thanksgiving post-script:

@coparenting101 would you share a family recipe with your ex husband’s girlfriend?

My response:  I’ve shared recipes with his wife. Plus, I share my kids with her, so why not a recipe? LOL…

On the subject of sharing…Mike’s mini-van is larger than my car, so I’ve had occasion to borrow it when I need to haul around more people than usual, like when my fiance JB and the kids come to town.  When we switch, Mike takes my car which means that at times, his wife Sherry drives my car.  Some people who know Sherry are incredulous: “You drive her car?  She let’s you drive her car?”

Again, my rationale is the same: If I trust her with my kids, why wouldn’t I trust her with my car about which I care far less?

Maybe all of this sharing is made possible by the fact that I’ve done the emotional work of getting closure on my first marriage and subsequent divorce.  Speaking of which–*segueway alert!*–we hope you’ll join us for this Sunday evening’s “Co-parenting Matters” show, “Getting Over Your Ex”.  A few points:

~Healing yourself just might be the key to strengthening your co-parenting relationship. Often times, the vitriol between co-parents isn’t really about the co-parenting relationship or the kids.  You might be arguing over socks and pick-up times, but below the surface, what’s fueling the fire are unresolved emotional issues related to your break-up.

~Even if you are the person who initiated the break-up, there may still be a need for mourning the relationship and healing.

~Just because you’ve moved on to someone new doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve processed and healed. Sometimes, people rush into new relationships in an attempt to get over the ex.  Rushing into a new relationship isn’t a good move for you, or for their kids, and not fair to the new person–who wants to be just a rebound? (Well, there are opportunistic folks who can make being a rebound work to their advantage…but it’s generally at your expense.)

~That said, sometimes people begin to mourn a relationship while they are still in it, so it may appear that they are able to heal and move on “faster” after the actual break-up.  The act of break-up up might be a healing one in and of itself.  Every situation is different.

On “Getting Over Your Ex”, we’ll be discussing ways to turn the pain of an ended relationship into the joy of a new life with nothing but possibilities. Divorce Guru Kim Hess will be one of our guests. Kim is a writer, divorce expert contributor, and divorce support consultant. She is also the host of her own radio show “Kim Hess Divorce Guru” heard all over the U.S. and in over 27 countries on www.EnergyTalkRadio.com. Visit her at www.kimhess.com to learn how your life can be better after divorce than it was before, through motivation and humor!

We will also welcome to the show Dr. Makungu Akinyela, family therapist, relationship counselor and WeParent Expert panelist, will talk about how to build yourself up after a break-up.

We’ll be taking your calls and Tweets (@coparentingmatters).  You may alo send questions in advance to contact AT coparentingmatters DOT com.