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“Should I Tell the Judge My Ex Was Diagnosed as a Narcissist?”

Thursday, 13 October 2011 | 10:27

We received the following comment on a post on co-parenting with a narcissist. (We are still woefully behind in replies to emails and comments, but we’re working on it.)

I divorced my crazy narcissist almost 2 years ago. He was diagnosed as a narcissist by a marriage counselor who was also a psychologist.
We are co-parenting, or rather he is taking them because doing so puts a hold on me somehow. He neglects them, smokes in front of them even though our son has asthma.

He remarried immediately after our divorce….8 months later he was divorced again. The new wife called me and told me how abusive he is. With her he stepped it up a notch…not only did he scream and yell and name call, he was physically abusive.

Now that he no longer has her to abuse, he is back on to me. My children have missed out on swimming lessons, T-ball and scouting. Because they all were on the same dates that he had them. I have begged, pleaded with him to take them….. and he continues to send me nasty emails ranting about things he believed I did, telling me what a horrible mother I am and the worst…..telling my son that the reason he wasn’t going to scouting was because I couldn’t be adult enough to do an exchange. When in reality, I agreed to things I didn’t want like exchange at other places besides the exchange center we go through.

He has posted my name on the internet…my maiden and married with my hometown and wrote terrible lies stating that I was abusive, emotionally and physically, that I made a minimal amount of money and that I neglected the children and lived off of child support.

He used the court system so that he would get to see what my income tax is every year so that he can decide if he wants to claim both children…then he is supposed to pay me what I would have gotten. You have probably already figured out how that went. He didn’t pay me what was owed.

I cannot stand by and watch my children grow up without a childhood because of him. I am going to take him to court for contempt.

Has anyone else done this? What are the things I should know? I am scared to just come out and tell the judge that he was diagnosed as a narcissist because I am afraid he will think I am just a vindictive ex-wife.

Any advice for this co-parenting mom?

Posted under Abuse, Adventures in How Not to Co-Parent, Mental Illness |

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Last Updated on Thursday, 13 October 2011 | 10:27

Join Us in Pledging to Veto Violence

Tuesday, 20 September 2011 | 09:39

CoParenting101.org is pleased to support the Center for Disease Control’s Veto Violence campaign. It is our hope to raise awareness among fellow parents about the various types of violence children may face and to encourage you to join us in pledging to do all we can to end it. For co-parents, the specter of bullying and dating violence are just two more reasons for us to communicate and function as a team to meet our children’s needs. When kids are in crisis, it helps exponentially if their parents have a partnership and can share what they are each observing and hearing from their child during their respective parenting times. It also helps children to know that their parents are working together, as a united front devoted to their well-being, despite the break-up.

The Veto Violence campaign also addresses child maltreatment which, tragically, can be a concern for co-parents.

Here are some details, including helpful links, about the Veto Violence campaign:

Parents, teachers, and administrators expect schools to be safe havens of learning. Acts of violence can disrupt the learning process and have a negative effect on students, the school itself, and the broader community. While our schools remain relatively safe, many children may encounter some type of violence during the school day, or on their way to or from class. It may be in the form of bullying, fighting, electronic aggression, or involve weapons or gang violence. In addition, they may experience violence in their dating relationships or violence at home, the signs of which may manifest at school. The purpose of the Veto Violence campaign is to raise awareness among adults and parents, so they recognize the types of violence children may experience and pledge to stop it.

During the 2007-2008 school year, 25% of public schools reported that bullying occurred among students on a daily or weekly basis. Bullying can result in physical injury, social and emotional distress, and even death. Victimized youth are at increased risk for mental health problems such as depression and anxiety, psychosomatic complaints such as headaches, and poor school adjustment.

The CDC has a variety of resources for parents and teachers to use, as well as a new violence prevention pledge widget, which you can also find on our Facebook page. This information is intended to help anyone recognize and understand the risk factors and warning signs associated with violence – as well as the importance of prevention – in order to keep our children safe.

Please join us in pledging to Veto Violence by clicking the “START” button above.

Posted under Abuse, Resources |