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Comics and Cakes and Cooties…Oh, My!: Co-Parenting Post Round-Up
Friday, 12 February 2010 | 08:51

Lots of good co-parenting stuff has been coming our way via email, Twitter, and from our very own backyard.  Here’s the round up:

On Valentine’s Day,  Show Someone Special Some Love…YOU!

This Sunday night, our live, weekly talk show “Co-Parenting Matters” returns from its Super Bowl-induced hiatus with “Happy Parents, Happy Kids!” We’ll be talking about taking care of yourself, so that you can be the whole parent your child needs.

Yvonne Bynoe

Our guest on the show will be a sophisticated woman and mama (who founded a resource of the same name) Yvonne Bynoe.  Click here to read about the FREE coaching session Yvonne is giving away to TWO working moms who want to create their ideal lives!

Do You Recognize This Woman? Are You This Woman?

The Wizard of Oz-themed title of this round-up post was inspired by Deesha’s latest at The Faster Times, “The Elmira Gulch Chronicles, Or: How Not To Be THAT Ex-Wife.” We see that the women of the Second Wives Club are talking about it, and it’s inspired at least one blog post that we know of (The Divorce Encouragist talks about NOT choosing the post-divorce victim/bitch role).

And in case you missed it, check out Deesha’s post on the divorce party trend, “Divorce Cakes Are Bittersweet With Kids in the Mix.”

CoParenting101.org Gets a Mention in “Indy Black Out”

We got a li’l press in Indy Black Out, the recently-launched online magazine for African-Americans “living in and traveling to Indianapolis.”  Check out “No More Drama: How to Build An Effective Co-Parenting Relationship.”

Co-Parents Join Cast of VH1’s “Celebrity Fit Club“

In the Twitterverse, our pal @DrGoddess gave us the heads up about Britney Spears’ co-parent Kevin Federline and his other co-parent Shar Jackson joining the current cast of  “Celebrity Fit Club” on VH1. Don’t know who’s watching the kids while they are doing the show, but we think it’s safe to say it’s not Britney.

Gene A. Johnson, Jr.

WeParent Interviews “The Mediator”, part 2

Speaking of pals, our friend Talibah Mbonisi of WeParent.com has posted part 2 of her informative interview with mediator Gene A. Johnson, Jr.

2002

(Comic) Confessions of a Stepmom

We got a nice email from Leyea , a 10-year stepmom veteran who recently created an” illustrated, comicish” blog called “Confessions of a Stepmom about her family’s experiences:

“I began this project to find peace in my own being with some of the mistakes I have made in my step parenting role. I love my stepson beyond expression but sometimes my own wee self got in the way of showing the light of this love and instead I put forth my pain and suffering. So here, in these comics I will sometimes show my downfall and then follow it with my lesson or words that I wish I had said. And sometimes I will share the more glorified moments of when my love did prevail!…

“It is my hope in sharing these bits of our story; my mistakes, struggles, and occasionally my triumphs as a stepmother that you will find some peace with being a “step” or supporting a stepparent and the family at large in your life. It is a great challenge to be a stepparent and I have not found many places for support as I have grown and transitioned in my own understanding of the role.

“I feel like I am able to share these raw experiences because we are all finding our groove together, me (Leyea), Quin (my stepson), Ben (my husband), Amy (Quin’s mom), and Quin’s sisters, mine and Ben’s two daughters, Sophie and Mia. We continue to grow now together rather than resisting our way through this life we have created (well, most of the time, at least!).”

Finally…the title of this round-up promised you cooties, so here are they are:

“I have said it before. I never thought it would happen to me. Yet here I am…about three months away from my 30th wedding anniversary and I am about to be divorced. There won’t be a 30th wedding anniversary.  At least not for us.

“Having been deeply involved in a church that is full of long term marriage this was a shock. It wasn’t what I wanted nor what I expected. And I found out that even your long time friends are affected by the phenomena I like to call “Divorce Cooties”.  You know, you finally look up from the ground where you are laying with your teeth kicked in – take a deep breath – and look around to find that you are staring at the backs of almost  everyone you ever trusted as they scamper away lest they be tainted by your divorce cooties.”

Read the rest here.

We’re going to wrap up this wrong up with a little housekeeping note.  According to our web designer, the next time you visit this site, the new, lovely redesign may have gone live.  A new logo (see below) and a whole new look, but the same folks.  See you on the other side!

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Last Updated on Friday, 12 February 2010 | 08:51
Co-Parenting Dad to Girlfriend: "My Kids Will Always Come Before You"
Monday, 8 February 2010 | 11:26

Last spring, Mike’s wife and our kids’ stepmom, Sherry gave some advice to a reader, Kelly, who felt like “just the sideline girlfriend” in a relationship with a co-parenting dad who was at times rather too close for comfort with his ex.

Recently, Alisha, another reader who is dating a devoted co-parenting dad, responded to what Sherry wrote, and asked for advice as she wonders if there is room in her boyfriend’s life, and heart, for her…and for any kids they may have together:

Sherry,

I have really appreciated your willingness to share your story, and provide an alternative to many less-peaceful stories I hear. Because you have shared my situation so closely, I ask for your advice.

I am dating a fabulous man with two little kiddos (son, 5, and daughter, 7) from a marriage that ended three years ago. It was a rough marriage, and a rough divorce, and my man is still smarting from it a little bit. To his ex’s credit, she has been supportive of my relationship with her children’s father- I’m sure it helps that she is re-married- and there has been no real tension between us other than a little awkwardness.

Personally, I am 29 and have never been married nor had children, and, also coming from a divorced family where dad was absent (and Mom is STILL seething), it is very touching to me that my boyfriend is a devoted dad with 50/50 custody. Admittedly, it is also difficult for me to understand. While I want the best for his kids (after all, I’ve been in his daughter’s shoes) it’s hard for me to hear him say, bluntly, “My kids will always come before you.” Going into a marriage (which we’re talking about) for the first time, I’m sure you held the same hopes I have have, of being cherished as a companion and confidant, and wondering if this desire died for my boyfriend with his first marriage. I fully hope to have children of my own (and so does he, he tells me), but I can’t help but worry that when he says his children come before me, that his first two children will come before mine. As I said, I want his kids to have happy, loved lives, but isn’t there room for more? Would it be fair for me to bring children into a marriage where they could be getting … emotional leftovers from their father? How can I bring up these concerns to my boyfriend and help him understand that I want his devotion to his children to continue, but also want to know there’s more room for me and my hopes and dreams than just the empty side of his bed?

Read on for Sherry’s response:

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Last Updated on Monday, 8 February 2010 | 11:26
Co-Parenting ABCs–You Said It: "I'm Not Invited to My Son's Birthday Party"
Tuesday, 26 January 2010 | 09:22


A co-parenting dad, Steve, sent us the following note:

My ex-wife planned a birthday party for my son. I only heard about it today. The party is in a few days. I asked her via email why she didn’t let me know about it and if she intended to invite me. Her reply was that she’s “… thinking about it.” What’s worse is that we actually talked about it months ago – I told her, “…let’s plan his birthday party out together this year.” But she didn’t want to invite my wife. That is, in essence, the root of the problem. I’ve been separated for 4 years and married to my new wife for 2.5 years – and she still hasn’t gotten over it. But what am I supposed to do when my son asks if I’m coming to his party? I don’t want to bad mouth his mother. I don’t want him to think that I don’t want to be there. Personally, I think I should just show up at the party. He’s my son – and he’s only having one bday party. I did think about having a separate bday party for him, but that seems silly – and all of his friends are already going to be at this party…

We know that some of you can relate to Steve’s scenario: how to handle birthdays…and, in general, how to respond honestly to your child about the other parent’s behavior and affirm your relationship with your child, all without throwing the other parent under the bus.  How do you and your ex handle birthday celebrations?  What advice would you give Steve?  Read on for our response…

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Last Updated on Tuesday, 26 January 2010 | 09:22
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