Archive for the ‘Safety’ Category


In response to yesterday’s post from a mom who is divorcing an abusive spouse, we received a Facebook message from Heidi, a friend of CoParenting101.  Below, Heidi shared her experiences and offered some advice to the divorcing mom who was concerned about protecting her children while also allowing them to have a relationship with their father.  Heidi writes:

I TRULY feel for this person. My situation was so nuts it ended up on CBS News’ 48 Hours. Here are my 2 cents for what they’re worth…

1. Keep a diary…list every hurtful thing he says or does toward you or the children. Save cards, e-mails and texts, save phone messages. Doing so saved my bacon when I was being sued frivolously in court, and every time someone got up in my grill “for being so mean to my ex” because he’d told them stories. My story was always 100% straight and consistent because I’d written all of it down. His, not so much. ;)

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Posted under Abuse, Adventures in How Not to Co-Parent, Co-Parenting ABCs, Co-Parenting Stories, Divorce, Happy endings, Healing, Legal, Problem...Solved, Resources, Safety  |  Comments  No Comments  |
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 21 April 2010 | 11:51

A reader wrote:

I am in the process of divorcing a man that put bruises on myself and my children. I find myself realizing that part of me still loves him very much, and wants him to be a good father to his kids. Yet he insists on playing the martyr to anyone and everyone who will listen, while using his infrequent visitation (supervised only) with the kids to try to get information from them or pass messages to me.

Meanwhile, I have been researching codependency articles, How-To-Save-Your-Marriage articles, abuser and abusee articles. I am attending two different churches at different times, as well as any parenting and co-parenting classes I can find. I have also been taking my children to counseling to help them through the divorce as well as the mental, emotional, and physical abuse.

My main problem is, I want them to have a good relationship with their father. They want a good relationship with their father. He professes to want a good relationship with them, yet I cannot trust him. Every time I try to let him into their lives a little, he abuses the privilege. He is convinced that he did nothing wrong.

How can I protect my children while preserving their relationship with their father?

What advice or encouragement do you have for this reader?

Read on for our response.

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Posted under Abuse, Adventures in How Not to Co-Parent, Co-Parenting ABCs, Co-Parenting Stories, Divorce, Fathers, Healing, Legal, Mothers, Problem...Solved, Problem...Solved, Resources, Safety  |  Comments  No Comments  |
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 21 April 2010 | 11:51


My boyfriend and his ex have a child together, and his ex doesn’t want me around their son. She told my boyfriend that if I’m at his house when the child visits, she’s not going to let him see his son anymore. My boyfriend won’t stand up to her, and now he has to go over to her house whenever he wants to see his son! Is this legal? Can she do this?

Without exception, this question (or some variation of it) is hands-down the most common comment and query we receive on this site. Read on for information on basic child custody law and for our best guess as to what’s really going on…

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Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,   |  Posted under Abuse, Child Support, Co-Parenting ABCs, Co-Parenting Stories, Dating and Relationships, Fathers, Legal, Mothers, Problem...Solved, Resources, Safety, step-dating  |  Comments  2 Comments  |
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Last Updated on Sunday, 7 June 2009 | 10:13