We just got back today from our annual all-family (yep, kids, bonus kids, exes, spouses, the whole gang…well, minus the 4 dogs and one cat) vacation. Details later. (Notice how we’re too tired to even put up an image here?) As we recover, we direct your attention to our good friends at WeParent.com who have the good news about the return of our Co-Parenting Matters talkshow from summer hiatus this Sunday at 9:30 PM EST. We hope you’ll tune in…
MoreArchive for the ‘Stepfamilies’ Category
Posted under Co-Parenting ABCs, Happy endings, Podcast, Remarriage, Stepfamilies | 
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Last Updated on Tuesday, 17 August 2010 | 01:15
"Come again? You expect me to do what???"
A few weeks ago, Friend of Co-Parenting101 Heather, founder of CafeSmom.com, posted a provocative guest-post from a co-parenting mom, SassySingleMama (SSM)– a list of 12 things SSM felt a stepmom should do/be. The commenters on this post were quite the tough crowd, and generally weren’t feeling SSM’s list. I (Deesha) decided to use SSM’s list as a springboard for a conversation about stepmothering with Sherry, Mike’s wife and our kids’ stepmom. I wear a stepmom hat too, so I was doubly interested in comparing notes with Sherry on this. Last week, Sherry and I talked about items #1-#3 of the list in this post. We continued the conversation here, discussing #4-#11, and we discuss #12 below in this our final post in the series. Of all the items on the list, this one seemed to rankle the commenters on the original post the most, and Sherry and I concurred with their sentiments.
(Note: The chat log has been edited for clarity, privacy, and, um, decorum, but SSM’s list items are unedited)
12)You are his wife, but I am the mother of his children. I’m not saying I’m better then you! I’m saying he has a responsibility to take care of his kids, and part of that is making sure his kids mother is okay! So when he says I got to drop my car off at___ because hers broke down and needs to get to work… Don’t complain! Realize its for the good of the kids.
Deesha: It is not an ex’s responsibility to make sure his children’s mother is always and everywhere okay. I understand having concern or consideration for her well-being because the children are impacted, but he’s not ultimately responsible for this other adult. That’s a pretty wide open statement.
Sherry: This, to me, has always been tricky.
Posted under Adventures in How Not to Co-Parent, Co-Parenting ABCs, Co-Parenting Stories, Happy endings, Healing, Problem...Solved, Remarriage, Resources, Stepfamilies, step-dating | 4 Comments |
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 7 July 2010 | 11:02
"Come again? You expect me to do what???"
A few weeks ago, Friend of Co-Parenting101 Heather, founder of CafeSmom.com, posted a provocative guest-post from a co-parenting mom, SassySingleMama (SSM)– a list of 12 things SSM felt a stepmom should do/be. The commenters on this post were quite the tough crowd, and generally weren’t feeling SSM’s list. I (Deesha) decided to use SSM’s list as a springboard for a conversation about stepmothering with Sherry, Mike’s wife and our kids’ stepmom. I wear a stepmom hat too, so I was doubly interested in comparing notes with Sherry on this. Last week, Sherry and I talked about items #1-#3 of the list in this post. The conversation continues below as we discuss #4-#11.
(Note: The chat log has been edited for clarity, privacy, and, um, decorum, but SSM’s list items are unedited)
4)Don’t talk bad. Yes there are bad mothers out there! But its not your business. Don’t make a child feel they have to choose between the two families! Children are innocent and have the right to love someone even with faults.
Sherry : This to me just shows her immaturity.
Deesha: This is another one of those where if the bio-mom is the one who feels compelled to say it, the stepmom probably isn’t going to listen. This would be better coming from the dad, or someone else with a good rapport with the stepmom. Again, this is not bad advice, but I don’t feel it’s appropriate for the kind of “sit down” between stepmom, bio-mom, and the dad, that SSM described in her introduction.
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Posted under Adventures in How Not to Co-Parent, Co-Parenting ABCs, Co-Parenting Stories, Fathers, Happy endings, Healing, Mothers, Problem...Solved, Remarriage, Resources, Stepfamilies, step-dating | 7 Comments |
7 Comments |
Last Updated on Monday, 5 July 2010 | 09:29